Two weeks...

So, by the way... in two weeks we will be headed to Atlanta to see Idina.

Oh yeah, and Wicked twice this weekend. That's the plan anyway. Wahoo.

Concert...

So, last night we had pizza and watched Rent. It was quite fitting because all yesterday I kept saying... "This time three weeks from now we are going to be on the road to Atlanta!" And the road trip will include a lot of Rent music.

Let's do some quick math. If yesterday was three weeks to the day that we will be heading to Atlanta, then three weeks from right now we will be eating dinner and mentally preparing to have our minds blown! I am going to be so excited this time in three weeks!

I have been trying to come up with the perfect thing to say, if I get to have her sign something after the show. I am sure it won't happen because most likely she will need to get to the baby, but just in case... I want to be prepared. I can't figure out what will make her love me. Sigh.

The outfit is a whole other issue. I am stressing... but SO EXCITED!!

Restored!

Good weekend and counting down for Idina and the return of George Glass. Four weeks is not too long at all. Sigh. Hope it flies. I missed Samantha's second house warming. I want the delicious garlic spread she has. I tried to buy the same thing with the same bagel chips but I got the wrong cheese spread. I was bummed.

Tv is good people. Idina needs to be on more tv. I think her characters should return on Glee and Private Practice. Sigh. I'm sleepy and ate Cheezits and chocolate milk for dinner. Being a babysitter is hard work. It's a good Saturday night though. Does that make me lame? Probably. Don't answer though.

Sleep.

I can't get to sleep because I made a poor decision and napped today while I was uploading my Idina footage to youtube. I decided I would look at said youtube footage ( in order to get the number of views up ) and I started down a path of many Idina videos. I watched her backstage at Wicked and some performances and then the final video which brought me to tears.

Tears because she is wonderful, but also tears because Rent stuff makes me emotional. It was a 48 hours special and Idina was 24. If you do not already know, I am 23. Ask me what I have done with my life? Not what she had I am sure.

I mean, she was singing weddings and working night clubs and making no money just to get her name out there. Do you know how brave that is? What a risk that is?

Sadly, I kind of get it, but not becuase I have taken any risks in my life. Not because I have chosen my one true passion and actually gone for it full force. Nope, not me. I am way too chicken to do that...

My friend was saying how everyone wants to be famous. Everyone is really talented, but not everyone can make it big. It is all about who you know and happening to be in the right place at the right time. Is that a reason not to try anyway? It kind of seems like it is. Well, it's what's stopping me.

Hopefully I will fall asleep soon. For now I am just going to channel Idina's spirit and drive. Maybe her talent a little bit too. I am just going to try not to tear up at my own lack of all those things. Seeing her close to my age really shook me. Stupid youtube.

phew.

It is amazing what one day will do for the spirit. Crisis averted. Head is in a much better space and five weeks might not be too terrible. Okay, so five weeks is pretty terrible.

I have a lot to look forward to on my weekends though. I might have been roped into a new babysitting adventure for this weekend. Yikes. Hopefully it goes a lot smoother than my last one. Well, hopefully the kids won't be as accident prone.

It is nice to be at peace with Idina. I am already trying to figure out what I am going to wear to the concert. Also, I will be posting the video on youtube. People need to see it. She rocked that song.

welllllll.

I am kind of in crisis mode with my life right now.

I went to see the movie It's Kind of a Funny Story and it was cute and I enjoyed it, but I left the movie all mad at the world of movies. The world in general.

Is the point on life to be in a relationship? It seems like that is the only topic for a movie. It feels like you aren't really living if you aren't interested in someone romantically. We have been dumped into these huge love stories since childhood. I wonder why life only feels worth it when you are in a relationship, but I don't have to wonder very long.

I am a typical girl. I am over emotional and I am insecure. I ruin all my relationships and dwell on the failures when I am single. I am sick of it. I want to just be happy. Yes, relationships make you feel good (movie worthy) for a while, but that high doesn't last. Erg. I am annoyed.

This is the most serious blog I have written.

Honestly, I haven't been this annoyed with life since I started this blog. When I dive into Idina, her music, her life, our fake friendship.... I really feel better. I don't feel so pathetic working a mindless job, living at home and single. I can put my happiness in other things. TV helps a lot.

I used to think it was pathetic, but these things do the exact opposite. They make me feel less pathetic. Less alone. Less crazy. It seems odd doesn't it?

I am going to stick to watching Pedro Almodovar films. American movies are just making me mad. TV shows give me the courtesy of making things seem a bit more complex. I appreciate a good messy break up, a massive freak out... NO, I would not like to see two people meet, fall in love and then credits. Sure they are in a mental institute. Yeah, that makes it seem messy, yet we still get a nice happy ending.

I just need November 12 to get here so I can have some fanatical joy. Need to be on the edge of my seat about something in life. Something that doesn't have the potential to destroy my spirit. Been there recently and done that as well.

Sorry for the whine fest. It will be the last, I hope.

Although...

I decided to take a hiatus, I happened to be feeling a bit on the sad/depressed side, so I google-newsed Ms. Idina. It did make me feel a bit better so maybe I am not completely done with this blogging business. Did anyone think I really was?

Two things: I found that Idina is going to be on an episode of Wonder pets. I saw the clip of her as the queen of hearts and it was delightful. Second thing is the clip of Taye on Ellen. He was gushing about Walker and what not. Very cute.

So I babysat for a three year old. I thought I wanted kids and I still do, but sheesh it is work. I got bit and he had an accident and he fell and wouldn't stop crying until his aunt (Samantha) got there. Stressful. How do people do it? Every time he ate I thought he was going to choke. Children are so fragile.

Mad props to Idina. Although I am sure she has help, I still understand how she may not have time to go to a fan blog and/or meet someone at a random bar in the city. Duh.

So stressed lately. Need to refocus and snap out of my funk. Bad.

WHAT...

Would Idina Do? I'll tell you one thing she Would NOT Do. Read my blog. You guessed it, folks. Yeah, so she is busy. Yeah, she has a kid and a husband and a voice and a life, but whatever.

I think I need a blog hiatus. I am devastated. I started a Twitter. Maybe that'll make me feel better. Probably not.

I need November 12 to get here. That is the only good thing I can foresee right now.

Terrible next 7 weeks.

Terrible. Work is boring. I don't even work that many hours which means I am not getting paid that much, but it is better than my alternatives I suppose. Sigh. Sigh. Double Dramatic Sigh.