welllllll.

I am kind of in crisis mode with my life right now.

I went to see the movie It's Kind of a Funny Story and it was cute and I enjoyed it, but I left the movie all mad at the world of movies. The world in general.

Is the point on life to be in a relationship? It seems like that is the only topic for a movie. It feels like you aren't really living if you aren't interested in someone romantically. We have been dumped into these huge love stories since childhood. I wonder why life only feels worth it when you are in a relationship, but I don't have to wonder very long.

I am a typical girl. I am over emotional and I am insecure. I ruin all my relationships and dwell on the failures when I am single. I am sick of it. I want to just be happy. Yes, relationships make you feel good (movie worthy) for a while, but that high doesn't last. Erg. I am annoyed.

This is the most serious blog I have written.

Honestly, I haven't been this annoyed with life since I started this blog. When I dive into Idina, her music, her life, our fake friendship.... I really feel better. I don't feel so pathetic working a mindless job, living at home and single. I can put my happiness in other things. TV helps a lot.

I used to think it was pathetic, but these things do the exact opposite. They make me feel less pathetic. Less alone. Less crazy. It seems odd doesn't it?

I am going to stick to watching Pedro Almodovar films. American movies are just making me mad. TV shows give me the courtesy of making things seem a bit more complex. I appreciate a good messy break up, a massive freak out... NO, I would not like to see two people meet, fall in love and then credits. Sure they are in a mental institute. Yeah, that makes it seem messy, yet we still get a nice happy ending.

I just need November 12 to get here so I can have some fanatical joy. Need to be on the edge of my seat about something in life. Something that doesn't have the potential to destroy my spirit. Been there recently and done that as well.

Sorry for the whine fest. It will be the last, I hope.