morning.

I woke up this morning with pillow fluff all up in my hair. My pillow has been destroyed along with my dignity. Yeah, so I am kind of a drama queen, I'll give you that... but I think I also make a little bit of sense. Maybe I don't.

Dumb story, not worth talking about, but when it rains... it pours. It's just how my life works.

Honestly, the only thing that is keeping me from thinking about all the crap that I could be and kind of am dwelling on is my make believe friendship with Idina. I think about what I am going to say to her when and if I meet her and it kind of makes me feel a little bit better. No less crazy, but better. I don't have to think about how embarrassing my life really is...

Don't rain on my parade with talk of how the only thing keeping me sane is my insanity, because that is just rude. Rude I tell you.

House work and a doctor's appointment with my mom today. A doctor's appointment that we have already been told we are going to have to wait a really long time.

Still listening to Joni Mitchell on headphones in my room. Still playing Wicked in my car. Still feeling overwhelmingly crappy.

Goal today: be less dependent on my phone for self-preservation... and, as always, think "What would Idina do?" atleast three times today.

I need to find out how she gets to feeling better when she is down. I don't have a husband or a baby to make me feel good about myself, but maybe she has some other pointers. The only thing that is helping me these days is friends, food and delusions.